


A Million Worlds, But We're Together

by keepquietplease



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: A rewrite?, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, And like, Asexual Evan Hansen, Autistic Evan Hansen, Canonical Jewish Character, Connor Murphy Lives (Dear Evan Hansen), Gay Jared Kleinman, Here we go, Jewish Character, Jewish Evan Hansen, M/M, Multi, Tree Bros, mentions of suicide and self harm, obviously a suicide attempt, queer Connor Murphy, scared evan, scared everyone, the consideration, yes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:54:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23478082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keepquietplease/pseuds/keepquietplease
Summary: This is a rewrite of my old fics because I am allowed to do that.  By rewrite I mean a better version.
Relationships: Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy, Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman, Evan Hansen/Jared Kleinman/Connor Murphy
Comments: 3
Kudos: 33





	1. Summer

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheIcyMage](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIcyMage/gifts).



> Hi, so I'm on the spectrum but on the very end where it's not noticeable except for small things (textures, noises, eye contact, and some things like humor and sarcasm...don't get those) and I'm basing Evan on that.

Evan heard chatter first before opening his eyes. The lights above him were uncomfortable. It reminded him of the lights he had in his classrooms at school. It was awful. He took himself to the hospital his mother worked at when no one came for him during the aftermath, and he passed out from pain and anxiety the minute he entered the building. He must've been put in a room when he was out cold. He groaned, pulling the covers over his head before wincing. His whole body was sore. His left arm felt heavy, so he opened his eyes and was treated to the sight of a white cast encapsulating that arm. Well, that was enough of a shock for him to sit right up, throwing the sheets right off him. The chatter to his side stopped, and when he looked over he wanted to die.

Connor Murphy.

His whole family.

Right. Next. To. Him.

They looked almost perfect. Sure, Connor was out of place for what looked like an after-school TV special family, but it was obvious to Evan that was the ideal. It was what he wanted in life. He saw Zoe stare at him funny, so he just sunk back in his bed, trying to hide. After a couple seconds of silence, he heard the family begin to talk again. Connor's mom was talking about how scared she was, seeing Connor like that. His father didn't make a noise. He didn't cough or shift or speak. Evan had a feeling he wasn't going to speak until he was either alone with Connor or out of the hospital. Zoe kept her voice hush, but Evan could hear her call Connor an idiot and the bickering started. Then, his dad spoke.

"That's enough. No fighting. Your mother can't handle it. Cynthia, Zoe, we should go."

"Larry, we just got here. My baby--" 

"You just don't want to be here, right? None of you want to fucking be here!" Connor slammed his hand on something that made a loud noise, jolting Evan a little bit. It was unnerving, hearing all this. The family seemed perfect. "Then just leave! I'm fine!"

"See, this is what I mean! He's not even happy we're here! Why the hell would we come here. He's doing it for attention--" Larry was cut off by the door opening. "Hello nurse, uh, Hansen? Can we have a moment--"

Evan, once more, sat up. Heidi ran over to his bed, hugging him. "Evan, what were you thinking?"

Evan stayed silent, trying to hug her back. He was not prepared for the cast, and it should not have been as hard as it was for him to hug her.

"Evan, please never do that again. My coworker said you came and said you fell from a tree. What were you doing climbing that high up? Why would you do that?"

"I'm sorry," he whispered, closing his eyes. "I-I lo-lost my grip, and I just came crah-crashing down. I'm sorry."

Heidi was crying, he realized. She was trying so hard to keep it together. "I'm going to visit whenever I can. After work and before classes, alright? I promise I'll be here to visit you every moment I am physically able to. My poor baby; I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." Evan whispered, letting go of her. "I-I'm kind of ti-tired."

"Get some rest, okay? I'll be back later to bring you stuff. Oh! I'll text Jared!"

"You don't have to--"

"He doesn't know yet! I'll call him right now. Get some rest, alright?" Heidi kissed his forehead before hurrying out. Evan had to laugh. She was in there for maybe five minutes at most. She was always busy, and she decided Jared Kleinman would be good company for him. Why didn't he tell her that he practically hated Evan? Was it because Evan was too scared? Probably.

Evan let out a sigh and laid back down, staring at the eye-aching lights.

This sucked.

His head hurt from both the lights and continued arguing coming from the Murphys. He heard his phone buzz next to him, seeing Jared was calling. He didn't answer it, both out of fear and annoyance. Jared left a voicemail, Evan noted. He'd have to listen to it sooner or later, but as of right now, it could wait. He looked out the window, seeing one or two droplets of water fall on the glass before the rain got heavier. No thunder or lightening at least, but it looked like a good storm outside. It was apparently enough to make the Murphy family leave, Cynthia promising to be back soon.

Then it was quiet.

Just Evan and Connor, laying in the hospital room, alone.

"What happened to you?" Connor said, breaking the silence. He turned to look at Evan. He looked so tired, as if even moving to his side was too much work. "You tell me your story, and I'll share mine."

"I cuh-climbed a tree and fell."

"Huh, okay. I crashed my car into a tree. Didn't work out as well as I wanted it to, but hey."

Evan had no idea how to reply to that.

"You like trees, then?"

"Uh, yeah."

"What's your favorite kind?"

Evan gave Connor the most confused look. As if Connor said something completely unbelievable. Connor felt like he had something on his face with the way Evan was staring. It was a bit uncomfortable and annoying.

"What? Did I say something funny?"

"You ca-can't just choose one. That's unfair. They're all good."

"They're plants."

Evan nodded in agreement, sitting up once again. "That's why they're so great."

Then it was silent again, and the two just stared at each other until Evan got nervous and looked away. The rain kept pouring, getting more and more intense. Evan looked up again. "Ca-can I braid your huh-hair?"

Connor squinted a bit before standing up, wincing slightly, and moving to Evan's bed. "Don't try anything."

"I won't." Evan said, separating it in three parts. Then again, silence, but with gentle tugging of hair and a nonverbal request for a pony tail.

It was peaceful, and for once in a long time, Connor felt calm. 

* * *

"What are your plans for when you get out of the hospital?"

It was half a week in, and Connor and Evan grew slightly closer. Evan and Connor wrote letters to themselves--suggested by Heidi, of course. They doodled on Evan's cast which was a lot of fun, and they played games. Since both incidents were deemed accidents, they'd be let out of the hospital that day. Connor was not excited to go back home, so he was kind of hoping Evan would have absolutely no plans over the summer. They could maybe actually hang out, which would be really nice.

"Um, probably nothing. Can't work right now because I didn't apply for the job I want, so hi-hiking?"

"So we could hang out?"

"You wa-want to?" Evan looked up from the game they were playing currently. "That wouldn't bother you?"

"Why would it? What, are you fucking sick of me too?" Connor snapped before taking a breath. "Wait, sorry. You don't like shouting."

"No one hangs out with me, so ye-yeah, let's hang out."

Connor let out a sigh, leaning his head on Evan's shoulder. "Thank you. I need to get away from my family. Longer than this hospital stay. Things were fine, but my boyfriend and I broke up last year, and it sucked."

"You ha-had a boyfriend?"

"Miguel. We just grew apart, and it was mutual, but it still sucked to have my one human escape gone."

Evan, who had questioned his sexuality for years, smiled and nodded.

"Thank god for weed, right? It would be great if my parents didn't always accuse me of being high, but it helps me relax. You ever smoke?"

"Yes." Evan lied before freezing. "Wait--"

"Really?"

"I did once, but, uh, it didn't go well because I didn't get high, so I'm pretty sure I'm immune to weed. It's just that I get super hungry. Yeah, I get really hungry. That's a symptom of getting high. Yep! I got high once. It was weird."

Connor snorted, not lifting his head up. "I would pay so much money to see you high."

"Th-then buy me weed." Evan joked. Shit, he was very gay. He was super gay for Connor Murphy. Oh no. Wait, he liked Zoe. He also used to have a huge crush on Jared, but he kind of gave up on that. It was weird, being into Zoe and Connor at the same time. One of the crushes had to stop.

"Yeah, let's get high together."

And it was probably going to be the one on Zoe.

* * *

"So, this is my house. Um, we could probably smoke in the backyard or out my window. My mom is never home, so it would probably be okay. Maybe outside is better?" Evan said, opening the door for Connor. A week after the two were released, Connor was finally allowed to leave the house. Evan was getting angsty without him, so they started emailing each other a lot. Connor apparently used the emails to pretend the two had been friends for years, and it seemingly worked. Evan visited once or twice, bringing pictures of trees he collected outside. Now they were in Evan's house. About to get high. Evan set up a kids movie incase something happened, and he had a bad reaction.

"Ev, we're not using a cart because that'll be too much for you for your second time. Straight up weed, okay?"

Evan nodded, smiling. 

"If your high is bad, tell me. We can stop and just talk or watch whatever movie you have and wait until it's over. I brought snacks."

"Okay, cool. Uh, it's been awhile. How do I get high?"

"You don't inhale it, okay? Not down your throat. You can't breathe it in; all you do is take it in, hold it, release. You'll start feeling it after a bit. You ready?"

"Yeah. Uh, is it okay if it's a kids movie?"

"Perfect." Connor said, taking his hand. "Let's go to your backyard. I cannot wait to hear you ramble about trees when you're high."

"Now I'm not going to."

"Did you just sass me? I'm honored."

They sat down on the grass. Evan watched Connor take out a bag and a bowl, putting a small amount of weed in it and packing it down. Evan wouldn't smoke much, and he wasn't going to get so high he couldn't move. He lit it before demonstrating how to smoke before passing it to Evan. Evan, not quite the visual learner nor has he ever smoked before, began coughing heavily the minute he took a hit. Connor quickly took the bowl and reached into his bag, pulling out a water bottle. Evan drank a generous amount before he stopped coughing. Connor waited until he held out his hand for the bowl to let him take another hit.

Twenty minutes passed, and Evan felt it. The world was moving like a wave, just up and down. Most of his senses were heightened, especially touch and sight. The sky was far too bright at the moment, and the grass itched his legs, but he just held his hand up when Connor offered it, shaking his head.

"I'm good. I feel it." He said, blinking. Were his eyes crossed? He couldn't tell. He moved a bit before laying down on Connor's lap and covering his eyes. "It's weird. I can feel every bit of the grass on me. It's not great, but I don't hate it."

"Too bright?"

"Mmhm."

Connor finished it off before emptying out the ash. "Want to go inside and watch a movie now?"

"Yeah,"

"Want to stand up?"

"No,"

Connor let out a sigh before helping him up. "Come on. Inside we go. Gotta watch a movie and eat food."

Evan leaned on him the whole walk over, stumbling a bit walking. They made it to the living room where Evan and Connor flopped on the couch. Evan grabbed the remote and turned on the movie, leaning against Connor again and closing his eyes. He opened them occasionally, blinking to see part of the movie. Connor put a bag of popcorn on the table. Evan managed to reach it without getting off the couch completely. Once the movie was over, they talked. They talked about whatever they could because as long as they were talking, it was okay. The popcorn was replaced with chocolates which were soon replaced with them going out to get fries because they were still very hungry. They ate the fries walking back to Evan's house.

"You'll come back tomorrow?" Evan asked, throwing out their trash. 

"Yeah, I'll be back tomorrow. We'll watch a horror movie tomorrow. Sober, of course." Connor promised, zipping up his bag. "Anytime you want to get high, let me know."

"Will you stay over tomorrow? Mom's gonna be gone all night tomorrow. I don't want to watch horror and be scared and alone."

"Okay, fine. I'll stay over tomorrow night. I can't wait to be roommates for another night."

Evan couldn't agree more.

* * *

A month in, and they knew each other better than they knew themselves.

Evan made Connor go on one too many hikes each day. It wasn't excessive, but they had a one-hike-a-day rule. Even if it was pouring, they went hiking. Recently Evan has been telling Connor about Jared. Jared checked up on him once, but not since he left the voicemail on the first day. He was a common topic on their walks. Another big topic during there walks was school. Connor and Evan disliked it for pretty much the same reason.

People.

Evan because of his terrible anxiety, and Connor due to his lack of friends. They agreed that this time they have each other. They were more often than not holding hands. Sometimes they'd wrap their arms around each other. They were strong together, and it felt right. 

Both of them were in full gay panic, which was a bit of a downside, because they had no idea how to address these feelings. Sometimes Evan would fall asleep on Connor, and he was left their analyzing how to tell Evan he liked him very much, more than just friends, without scaring him off. When Connor bought them a cactus to own together--kept at Evan's house so Connor could visit more--Evan realized he couldn't just not kiss Connor, but he also actually couldn't kiss Connor because that would make things weird. It was just a bit of a nightmare all together, and they didn't know what to do.

The good news was when they both were high, they had an excuse. It wasn't weird for them to slow dance in Connor's room to soft music. It wasn't abnormal for them to kiss each other on the cheek or forehead when they were cuddling. It wasn't anxiety-inducing to plan the best date together. They always could blame it on being high, so they saved it for when they got high. Evan just believed Connor was an affectionate guy when high, and Connor believed the same about Evan, so it was okay as far as they knew. 

Connor got Evan really into horror. They'd often stay up together watching a movie or two, and then they'd watch something tame and stupid before settling down for bed. Evan's crush on Zoe had dissipated by then. He really just had eyes for Connor, but sometimes Evan would see a picture of Jared on social media, and he would get reminded of that crush. 

Connor actually got social media for Evan. It was just pictures of Evan when they did stuff. His favorite was Evan with a bee on his hand, smiling at it like it was his son. They, at first, had one follower; an Alana Beck, who proceeded to share the page with her friends. Zoe even followed after a bit of nagging from her friends to follow her brother. 

Then Connor and Evan realized why a lot of people followed him.

They were the 'it' couple. Alana assumed they were dating and got other people to follow, and soon the posts only got comments like, _oh, wow, cute!_ or _man I wish my boyfriend posted about me as much as you do_. They got hundreds of these. 

They posted a picture of them playing video games. It was nothing unusual, because honestly what the hell do you do when people think you're dating your crush? Nothing seemed right. So they didn't really do anything.

It was just a picture of Evan looking at Connor, very happy due to the fact he just won Mario Kart. He looked so proud and excited that Connor had to post a picture of it. He captioned it with a _little shit just blue shelled me. Now I have to break up with him._

It went viral.

* * *

Two days after, nothing changed. Evan laughed at the caption, and the two carried on as normal. Evan, who didn't post often except for the occasional picture of a plant or skyline, posted a picture of their cactus. No caption. Just Connor watering the cactus because it was about time the little guy got some water. The first person to like it was Jared, who commented a _we get it; you two are really cute._ This made the two laugh, but Evan felt a bit bad. Maybe he was going overboard with his crush.

It was getting close to the end of July at this point. A week and a half until it was August. They were really trying to enjoy the last of their freedom while they could. They were lying in the grass outside of Connor's house, eating strawberries. It was really hot out, but if they went inside they'd be bombarded with questions. Larry, who didn't know his son was gay, was having trouble with the fact he was apparently dating Evan. Cynthia was a bit apprehensive about it as well. Zoe, honestly, couldn't give less of a shit because Connor wasn't miserable and mean all the time. Since he was eighteen, he was able to seek medical treatment, and since hanging out with Evan, he started taking his medication. They had a schedule together where they'd FaceTime in the early morning and at night if they weren't together and take their medication on the phone.

"Think we'll have classes together?" Connor asked, chewing on a strawberry.

"Maybe one or two, but not all of them. Lunch block?"

"Oh yeah. I'll actually fight whoever makes the schedule if we don't eat together. I could also just skip."

"I'd be alone though; I need you at school even if it's for five seconds. I'll be lonely otherwise."

"I can't promise everyday, but I'll try, okay? Still have bad days."

"I know." Evan whispered, sitting up. "Connor?"

"Yeah?"

"I let go."

"What?"

"I didn't fall. I let go. I wanted it to just stop. I was so ready for everything to just stop. You live your whole life with no one being there for you. Jared was my only friend, and he hates me. My mom is always busy. My dad left when I was seven, and I never met his new family. I've lived my whole life waiting for someone to see me, and it never happened, so I let go. I don't remember how tall that goddamn tree was, but I shouldn't have survived, and when I came to no one was there. I had to take myself to the hospital because no one was there. I could've stayed there, or I could've climbed back up and tried again, but at that point I thought even death didn't want me, so I came to the hospital. I'm surprised they saw me there. I was sure I'd be left on the hospital floor the minute I passed out."

"Jesus--"

"Please don't ignore me at school. I don't think I could handle not being seen by you too." Evan hugged himself, on the verge of tears. "I can't do it."

"I would never--hey, look at me. I would never do that to you unless I had to. I don't have to. I promise."

Evan rubbed his eyes, sniffing. Connor didn't move to touch him; Evan didn't like being touched when having a breakdown unless he specifically asked to be. Connor just sat there.

He was there, and he was him, and that was enough.

* * *

Two weeks later, and they were buying stuff for their senior year. Connor came alone due to the new form of fighting with his parents about his sexuality, and Evan due to Heidi being busy. They just needed pencils and binders, but they lingered a bit because they didn't want to leave. The store was air conditioned and the lights were so far up it didn't hurt Evan's eyes as much. It was an escape from Evan's empty home and Connor's suffocating home, and it was an escape from the heat.

They were holding hands, making their way through each aisle slowly. Connor found tree-patterned duct tape and put it in their basket, smiling as Evan kept pulling him along. They finally made it through each aisle and were forced to go pay for their items. Connor and Evan split the cost, really trying to impress the other with their commitment to one another. 

It was working, obviously, but they didn't know that.

They walked back to Evan's after, stopping to get ice cream at À La Mode on the way. When they got in, Heidi was inside. She was doing work in the living room, apparently given the day off from working at the hospital. She looked up with a smile. "Hi boys!"

"Hi Ms. Hansen." Connor said, a faint smile on his face.

"I was going to make you pasta tonight before class. You staying the night Connor?"

"He is!" Evan said quickly, looking at Connor intensely. "Pasta sounds great!"

"Alright honey." Heidi said before looking back at her work, frowning at something before scribbling. "I'll put the water up in a little bit, alright?"

"Thank you." Evan pulled Connor with him out of the room. "Can we watch a bad movie on my computer? I kind of just want to be held and watch something bad."

"That sounds really nice. Let's watch something really stupid and make fun of it. We gotta take our meds before we go to bed, though, and you always pass out when we watch bad movies, so don't. I will wake you up by playing loud music."

"You would never!"

"I'm evil, Hansen. I would." Connor said, sticking out his tongue.

"Bully," Evan hit his arm before letting him into his room. 

They curled up in blankets, staying close to each other. School was starting soon, they realized. Connor held Evan tighter, smiling. "Hey, Ev?"

"Yeah?"

"Everyone thinks we're dating."

"Oh shit."

"Should we just let them?"

Evan hummed, shrugging. "No one would really care anyway. I'll tell Jared it isn't real because he's my friend. I think we'll be fine, though."

"Yeah, I think so too."

* * *

And then it was time for school.

Summer was over, and Autumn had begun.


	2. Autumn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously the first bit of the letter is from the script, but like, the rest is my writing.  
> Also, happy Passover! I didn't write a chapter about Passover, because that's in spring, and this is fall, but I'm Jewish, so yeah.

Jared was an insecure fuck. That was Connor's first impression of the young man when he made a comment about Evan and Connor hanging out. Connor, who was better at controlling his temper, fucking lost it when Evan told his story about "falling from a tree" to him; Jared had the courage to make a joke, and not just any joke, a joke about Evan breaking his arm jacking off to Zoe. Connor slammed his locker door after Jared was bragging about hooking up with a girl from his camp; after he refused to sign Evan's cast.

Jared Fucking Kleinman, then, called him a school shooter.

Look, Connor was already having a real shitty day. He was laughed at when he got into school. He got into a fight with his family about being gay and high; he wasn't high. He was gay.

He was also pissed.

It was a blur, really, but all he knows was that he snapped a bit to Jared and almost yelled at Evan. Almost was the key. Connor saw red and stopped. Evan wasn't laughing at him like the others in the hallway did. Evan got nervous because of the whole scenario. Also, Connor was making intense eye contact with him, which Evan hated. Connor clenched his fists and went to go to class. He felt awful, he did, but he needed to get away from Evan when he felt like this. It didn't matter if he was functioning a bit better than before. He never wanted Evan to see him like that.

Evan, on the other hand, was confused. His friend was using him for car insurance; his other friend just left him alone in the hallway after getting mad. He was a little upset, and also before all of this Alana Beck came up to him and started talking super fast. She mentioned how happy she was that he and Connor were a proud gay couple and what she did over the summer. Evan couldn't get a word in either, and he was pretty sure she wasn't paying attention to him. Then his mom called and said she couldn't pick him up because of classes, and he was on his own for dinner. Again. He just felt alone with no one who saw him; that's the way it's always been, and the reminder of that was the only thing that kept him from breaking down completely in the moment.

So Evan did the only thing he could; he went to the computer and wrote out a letter.

_Dear Evan Hansen,_

_It turns out today wasn't an amazing day after all. This isn't going to be an amazing week or an amazing year, because why would it be? Oh, I know, it's because after this summer I pinned all my hope on Connor Murphy. I don't even know if Connor wants to be seen with me, or if he ever sees me anymore. Nothing is different. Why did I think it would be different? I wish I could speak up or do something and just be seen. But I can't, and I know I don't matter to anyone. Not Connor. Not Jared. Not my own mother. Not me. Even I wouldn't care if I disappeared tomorrow. No one would notice._

_Sincerely,_

_Me._

He clicked the print button and logged out of the computer, feeling numb. 

"Hey, Ev--"

Evan jumped quickly when he heard Connor behind him, freezing immediately. 

"Uh, hey, look about earlier--"

"It's fine." Evan said quickly, feeling his hands begin to get sweaty. "I get it."

"No, that wasn't cool. I--"

"I fucked up! Okay, I have to go to class."

Evan almost made it out when Connor spoke again. "Hey, isn't this yours? Dear Evan Hansen? You wrote a letter without me?"

"I have therapy tonight and had to write one real quick--"

"It's because after this summer I pinned all my hope on Connor? I don't matter to anyone. Not Connor?" 

Then, Connor did it again. He started shaking, and he stuffed the note in his pocket, and he left. He knew it wasn't right, and he knew Evan needed him, but he was so mad at himself he couldn't handle it. He had to leave. He had to calm down and come back when he could actually speak to Evan.

Which left Evan alone.

Again.

"I'm going to fucking kill myself." Evan whispered before mindlessly walking to class. He was, once more, numb. He made Connor mad, and now he definitely had no one. His classes went by without him noticing; why should he care? This time he wasn't going to fail; he knew he wouldn't. He'd climb higher, or maybe he'd just step into the street. Soon the bell rang, and he went to his locker and got his stuff. He closed it, and he walked out the door. He started walking home, not paying attention to anything.

Then he ran into Jared. Jared, who was a dick. Jared, who somehow saw how Evan was blindly moving throughout the day. Jared who drove quickly to Evan's house before he could get there.

Jared, who dropped the act of being too cool and let Evan just break down.

"What happened? Hey, hey, Acorn, what happened?" Jared said, following Evan inside the house. "Come on--"

"Connor got mad at me, ah-and he left, and I ju-just fu-fuh-fuck everything up! Fuck!" Evan said, pacing around his living room. "I wrote a letter--"

"Is that a sex thing--"

"No! No it's not a sex thing! It, uh, it was an assignment!"

"Uh-huh, okay."

"It wasn't a fucking sex thing!"

"Hey, hey, I believe you. I totally believe you. I won't joke anymore; you're freaking out. So did you two break up?"

"We weren't dating."

Jared nodded, sitting on the couch finally. He looked relieved. "Cool. Awesome."

"I'm pretty sure I'm broken anyway. Like, I hate when you say things are sex things. It grosses me out. Sex grosses me out. I can't really be in a relationship when I'm like that."

"You totally can, but that's for another day. There is no need to add onto your whole freak out."

"Why, uh, why are you being nice? What's the point? Don't you, uh, have other friends?"

"A lot, but I also know that I have to be nice to you so my mom--wait, no, no you need someone right now, right?"

"That would be great."

"Come here," Jared said, arms open. "Fuck toxic masculinity for an hour with me."

Evan collapsed into his arms. They stayed like that for awhile; not speaking, not moving, just being there. Jared, at some point, began to run his fingers through Evan's hair. His glasses were given to Evan to play with; it helped him calm down to fidget. It was natural, like when they were kids. Before Evan's father left. Before Jared was taught men didn't act like Evan, or so his father said. Before Jared tried way too hard to impress his friend. It was quiet, calm, and something both of them had needed for a long, long time. 

"You're probably sex repulsed." Jared said, pausing a moment before continuing. "You know? Like, asexual or something. You don't feel sexual attraction, and you're part of the community that gets grossed out by it."

Evan stayed quiet, waiting for him to continue. 

"You're not broken, trust me. Everyone thinks they're broken when they realize they're gay. Gay as an umbrella term in this sense, but still."

"But--"

"I'm really fucking gay is what I'm saying. Not into girls. Did not hook up with any Israeli girl over the summer. I mean, did get her bra, but she's a lesbian. I just told her I was a closeted gay guy, and I'd return it. Both were true."

"Oh,"

"Yeah, so trust me. When my not very accepting parents found out I was gay, it was straight to therapy with me. Actually, my mom thought you'd be a good influence on me. Jokes on her."

"What does that mean?" Evan sat up, frowning. 

"Evan, I had a crush on you since I was four. Just don't make it weird, okay? We can just be friends, and I'll forget--"

"I did too."

"What?"

"I did too! I, uh, got confused because I was really into you."

"Well, I guess this means my parents were very wrong."

"Is it bad if--never mind."

"What?"

"Nothing!"

"Evan, I know you, spill."

Evan put Jared's glasses down, moving his wrists in semicircles. "Uh, like, if I'm into more than one person?"

"Who is it?"

"It's, um, Connor. Yeah, it's Connor. Does this mean I'm like my dad? Am I just stringing one of you along?" Evan wouldn't make eye contact, his fidgeting increasing. He was just moving his fingers now, but the movements were frantic. "I'm sorry."

"I mean, I'm not really into him, but if he's into you, it'll be polyamory. I'm okay with that. We just need to make guidelines before we start dating."

"So it's not bad?"

"Some people aren't huge fans of it, but I don't mind because I know you pretty well."

Evan nodded, laying back down on Jared. "We don't have to kiss right? That kind of is gross too. Not, like, pecks, but tongue is gross."

"We don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. We'll run by your rules, okay? Is this okay? Just holding each other?"

"Yeah, actually this is really nice. Thank you."

"Of course, babe."

"That too. I like that."

Jared hummed, closing his eyes.

"Do you think Connor is actually mad at me?"

"Evan, you would have to pretend to know a dead person for the purpose of popularity for anyone to be mad at you, and that's a wild example that would never happen."

"Unless my anxiety kicked in, and I had to lie to the family."

"Evan, that is a stupid ass reason for an impossible scenario, I promise."

Evan nodded, closing his eyes.

He wasn't as numb as before.

* * *

Connor was waiting by Evan's locker the next day. He felt awful, honestly. He needed time to think, but now he was scared it was too late. He felt so much relief when he saw Evan walk in, even if he was with Jared. Connor could ignore that or just forgive Jared because maybe it was fine. 

Evan saw him and froze. Jared looked at Connor, waved, and looked back at Evan. He whispered something, grabbing Evan's hand, and walked over slowly. Jared finally brought him over, flashing a grin before shrugging. "Acorn here is a nervous mess."

Connor nodded, taking a step back to let Evan open his locker. Jared continued to make small talk, which was very off for the man.

"I do actually like your hair, no joke this time. I mean, if you do ever cut it, it will still probably be cool. Evan can't shut up about your hair. All last night, I swear, it was like your hair was a gift from god. He said my hair wasn't as fluffy. Can you believe that? I'm the Jew here. My hair should be like that."

Connor just stared, confused.

"Uh, yeah, I'm running out of things to talk about here, so a little help would be great." Jared finger gunned Connor, waiting. When he didn't get a response, he lowered them. "Cool, that's fine too. We all have social issues here; someone please give me something to go with here."

"Babe, it's, um, it's fine." Evan said softly, finally finished organizing his locker for the day. "Connor, the, uh, the letter really wasn't bad. I, uh, just--"

"It was my fault. I was having a bad day, and I took it out on you." Connor said quickly, glancing from Jared to Evan and back. "I didn't know you two were dating."

"We started dating last night." Jared said, no hesitation whatsoever. "We talked a bit, cuddled, and I came out as gay. Obviously even Evan couldn't resist me."

"Yeah, so uh, we're good? I'm sorry, I suck at apologies." Connor tapped his fingers on his arm. "He can join us; I mean, he will, since you two are dating."

"That'd be nice, um, if it's okay with both of you?" Evan's eyes were practically the definition of hope. He looked so determined, and fuck, Connor couldn't say no to him.

"Kleinman, we're on good terms as of now. I'm also not planning on cutting my hair. Also, I don't know how to stop the people who think we're dating because of Instagram, so--"

"Oh, please don't stop that. It's really cute. I felt joy for the first time in years with that account." No hint of sarcasm, so Jared was being honest. "Hey, can I get high with you next time? I want to join in on this. You two can still be cute, too, like, Evan and I talked about it. I really don't care if you two kiss or whatever. It's been a week since you've updated the account, so may want to do that soon."

"Won't that make you jealous?"

"Hey, it's Evan's choice. We had a very serious conversation last night, and I agreed it was alright. As long as we set rules together, it's fine. I trust you two--well, Evan trusts you, and I trust Evan, so by some dumb law, I trust you. Uh, so, cool. I'll let Evan talk now; he's his own man."

"Um, so, I'm sorry. Jared stopped me from anything, but the letter was just kind of fucked up, and I'm so sorry you read it--"

"Hey, it's okay. We all struggle. Just go to one of us next time, okay Ev? If I'm pissed off, Kleinman can deal with anything until I cool down. That's rule number one now."

"Deal. Cool. We'll be making more, Murphy. We'll be making a lot more."

Evan smiled, feeling his shoulders relax. He didn't even notice how tense they got, but now he felt calm. 

Everything was going to be fine.

* * *

Everything was not fine.

Larry and Cynthia didn't like Connor seemingly dating one boy, let alone two boys. Connor didn't correct them on it because why would he? It's not like it was hurting anyone but him, and he didn't give a shit as long as Evan and Jared comfortable. It had been about a month since they started hanging out, and Jared had upgraded from Insecure Fuck (IF) to Secure Friend (SF). Jared liked to joke and say SF meant secured fuck, but Connor ignored that. He also tried to ignore his family, but they were intrusive and aggressive. Larry would often make sure the three were never from sight, and Cynthia had told everyone that Connor was going through a phase.

Then it got worse.

Evan and Jared had to wash their hands the minute they got in. Larry prohibited closing and locking of doors. Cynthia always offered different snacks, but she'd show up in thirty minute intervals. Connor had to text--not that he did--each time he was at Evan's or Jared's and say the purpose being there. Then, the questions started. Larry asked each boy if they had been tested for STDs. He asked what made them gay. Who was the woman? Who was the man? Why they don't buck up and get a girlfriend. Cynthia asked about how Jared and Evan's religion would think about them being gay, and she didn't stop to consider maybe reading bible verses about them going to hell for being gay was maybe a bit inappropriate. 

They resorted to going to Evan's because at least there they could all cuddle and play video games. It was a bit odd seeing Jared peck Evan on the lips; not because PDA, no, because after they would do that, Jared would whispered something in Evan's ear, and then Evan would get closer to Connor, whether it was a kiss on the check, snuggling, or just Evan head butting Connor lovingly. Connor was happy with this, but he also felt weird. Jared made two more rules. Evan was allowed to be super affection with Connor if both parties consented, and the second rule was Jared and Connor did not have to be.

It sounded alright, but Connor was honestly confused as hell. His first theory was Jared got off on his boyfriend going on dates with other people or something, but that wasn't it. Maybe they were just fucking with Connor, but no, that wasn't Evan's thing. Evan had said on many occasions when Jared wasn't there that he was really happy Jared was okay with this. Connor didn't know what 'this' was, but if Evan was happy, it was probably okay. Besides, no one was getting hurt. 

Connor got some good posts out of it. One was Jared and Evan, mid-argument after a game of Mario Kart--which Connor lost again--and his caption was _oh shit there's two of them now_. That post got a lot of attention from their followers; it got a lot of hate, too. Connor was used to the homophobic comments from a couple kids, but now the homophobes were at full blast, shitting on the three of them with pride. Jared and Evan, of course, saw the comments when they viewed the posts, but they tried to keep calm about the whole thing. Jared and Connor succeeded in keeping calm.

Evan did not.

Evan, who, no matter what Jared said, still believed he was broken, took it the hardest. Some of the comments mentioned that they were sick and needed to be fixed, and Evan wasn't comfortable enough in his sexuality yet. He actively believed the comments, and he internalized it all. Of course, his boyfriend and best friend both got concerned. Evan came out to Connor with hesitance. He was obviously upset and scared, so Connor just hugged him. He wasn't going to walk away like last time. It was a moment for the three; Evan was shaking, trying his hardest to stay strong, but he couldn't this time. He was scared, and he had every right to be with the comments they were getting.

So Connor asked Zoe to help. He knew she would rather die than help her brother, but she hated homophobes, so there was that. Connor also blocked accounts and deleted their comments from his posts. Zoe just spread the word about who was homophobic at their school, and Alana was happy to join in finding and reporting assholes, so the two of them helped as much as they could.

Larry and Cynthia weren't happy, and Jared's parents had to be convinced that no, he wasn't gay, people are just dumb. He was used to lying about it, so it didn't take much convincing. Heidi, who didn't have an idea about the social media account nor about her son's sexuality, didn't have much to say. She was busy and clueless, and Evan was accustomed to that, so it was okay.

It was all okay.

* * *

After three more weeks, Jared joined the morning and nightly calls. Connor invited him. Jared didn't really have any medication he had to take, but he was there for moral support and the company. Sometimes he'd be late since he didn't wake up as early as those two. He had his own car, so he could afford to wake up later. It was natural for him to join halfway through, disheveled and tired. It didn't bother any of them. 

It was Friday. School had ended for the day, and the three were going to go smoke. Originally they were going to go to Evan's, and they did, but Heidi was waiting for them. She looked almost concerned, with a sickeningly upset smile on her face. 

"Hi boys, um, can I have Evan for a moment?' Heidi said, moving quickly to collect him. "You two go on inside, okay?"

Jared and Connor gave Evan a small nod. They went inside and watched from the window as Heidi and Evan talked. Whatever was happening, Evan seemed to get more and more panicked. He kept rubbing his hands on his shirt and pants, and he was looking anywhere but at his mother. He started picking at his cast, trying to keep calm. Finally, Heidi said something that just made him stop. He froze up. She hugged him, something he didn't reciprocate right away, before moving back inside with him. 

"Sorry boys. I just had to talk to him about something. I'm going to make some chicken. Is anyone hungry? I'm starving." Heidi said, walking into the kitchen.

Evan sat down, taking shallow breathes. "Um, she, uh, she found out about the whole letting go thing. I don't know how, but, um, she did. She, uh, um, wait." Evan paused, glancing at Jared. "I, uh, didn't fall. It was on purpose. She, uh, found out. Um, I'm not allowed to be alone anymore? So, uh, she wants to know if I can rely on, um, you two for when she has night classes."

"Wait, what?" Jared asked.

"I'd give anything to get out of the house, so sure." Connor replied.

"Wait, go back, you did _what_?"

"Um, thanks Connor. Jared, can you--"

"You did _**what**_ on purpose?!"

"You heard him. He let go."

"And we're just going to skim that part?!"

"Uh, yeah. Don't really want to talk about, um, don't want to talk about it." 

Jared sat back, a bit in shock. Fuck. He could've lost Evan, and he made a fucking joke about the broken arm being from jacking off? What the fuck?! Of course Evan couldn't be alone. Fuck. 

"So, uh, can I--"

"Yeah," Jared said quickly, looking up. "Yeah, you got me."

"Um, thank you." Evan said, sitting down. "So, are you staying for dinner?"

"Chicken sounds good." Connor said, squeezing Evan's leg. "We'll get high tomorrow, okay?"

Evan nodded, bringing his legs to his chest. 

It would be okay.

* * *

"Hey, Con? What's your opinion on polyamory?" Evan asked, laying on the grass. They were all pretty stoned. It was the next day.

"Uh, it's cool I guess?" Connor responded, passing the bowl to Jared.

"Cool, so, uh, want to be in one?"

"Are we not already in one?" Jared asked, coughing slightly as he inhaled. "Fuck, water please."

Connor passed Jared water quickly, frowning. "I'm not really attracted to Jared--no offense."

"None taken; you're not my type." Jared replied, chugging the water. "Acorn would be the mutual boyfriend."

"Okay,"

"We were practically already a polyamorous relationship. Evan did with you what he does with me, so not much is going to change. Maybe just holding hands in public, or maybe you two go on dates. Simple stuff, really." Jared continued, taking another hit before passing it back. "Real nice and easy."

"Sounds good. I'm okay with this. I guess we're both dating Evan."

"Yep, because I'm amazing!" Evan said, stretching slightly. "Okay, I'm hungry. Can we go get pizza?"

"Yeah, pizza sounds nice." 

"What flavor? I kind of want just cheese."

Jared and Connor paused and looked at Evan before bursting out with laughter, confusing Evan greatly.

"What? What'd I say wrong?" He asked, sitting up. 

"Nothing, babe." Jared replied, getting up. "Let's get a cheese flavored pizza."

* * *

The minute Evan sobered up, he punched Jared.

* * *

After another month, Evan was called a cheating slut.

Look, Zoe and Alana didn't mean to cause anything, really. It was just that Zoe saw Evan kissing her brother. She was fine with that; according to social media, they were dating. It's just that two days later, Alana said she saw Jared and Evan on a date. Something was up, and soon Zoe told her friends. Her friends told theirs. Alana, of course, posted about it when she heard, and soon it spread like wildfire.

Honestly, Evan didn't care. It was surprising because in any other situation he would probably lose his mind and dig himself deep into a hole, but as of now he was okay. He was okay because Zoe and Alana never specified who he was dating. Jared wasn't outed; Connor's parents were hardly in the picture; Heidi, well, Evan told her. He told her the minute he saw her after getting pizza with the two of them. Connor and Jared, on the other hand, were fucking pissed. That was their boyfriend. Their precious acorn. How dare someone sully his name? Connor and Jared were honestly ready to fight, but Evan just remained calm. This was the only time anyone would see him.

Connor spoke to Zoe in the harshest way he could, but he definitely got the message across. She honestly didn't give a shit about her brother, but she did feel bad for Evan. She let her friends know the truth; she let Alana know the truth.

Jared acted as Evan's bodyguard; he made sure he was always able to walk Evan to and pick Evan up from his class. Jared really wanted to make sure Evan was actually okay; he should be freaking out, but Evan just kept smiling and not acknowledging anything. He was always writing in one of his notebooks.

Evan was planning.

* * *

"I want to call it _The Connor Project_. It, um, would be a huge thing. A whole project for people who feel like they could just vanish. I picked your name because I don't want the project to get a bad rep right away. I have a bad name at our school, but you don't. Um, and Jared, I really like you, but Connor's name fits better." Evan said, holding up his notebook for the two to see. "I want to make sure no one will disappear. Not again."

"Good job, babe!" Jared said, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

"I, uh, started writing a speech too. So, yeah, uh. We could start it online because I don't want to make a speech at our school, but we could spread it." Evan continued, smiling.

"Yeah, yeah, okay." Connor said, nodding.

* * *

A week later, and it was the end of Autumn. 

Evan, having recently finished editing his video, hit publish.


	3. Winter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am using gay as an umbrella term in this chapter. Mr Heere is gonna be named Paul in this. Whoops.  
> Sorry this is late. I... I suck at motivation.

"Good morning--or, afternoon or evening--whenever you see this video. I would like to say a few words about my boyfriend. I'm sure many people know Connor Murphy. I want to tell you about that day we first met. In a hospital. I had fallen off a tree, but Connor was there for a different reason. He crashed his car, hoping that for a minute the world would just stop. I felt that way when I landed and no one was there. Alone, confused, and as if no one would notice if we vanished. But we had each other in that hospital room, and we saw each other. Um, what I'm trying to say is--uh, let me try to explain this better. Have you ever felt like nobody was there?"

* * *

It was a bit of a surprise when the video hit over one hundred views. It was even more of a surprise when the video hit half a million. It took about two days for that to happen. Word spread. It was on public websites. People sent it to their friends, and to their friends; it kept going and going. People Evan didn't know were sending him messages about how his video saved them, and they never thought someone else felt this way. It was overwhelming and exciting.

Things cleared up at school as well. Homophobic people were still homophobic, but he was cleared for a little while especially after the help of Zoe and Alana explaining how, no, he was't cheating. 

Jared and Connor were with him almost 24/7. Jared had to go home a lot, and Connor was supposed to be at home, but when one had to leave, the other would stay. The house wasn't as lonely as before. Connor knew not much about cooking, but he could make eggs and other breakfast foods. Jared was more skilled, but he failed to hone the craft of baking. He never baked anything right, and the recipe would come out ugly with a foul taste each time he tried. Evan knew how to cook, but he had anxiety and couldn't leave the kitchen even if water was just beginning to boil. Heidi mentioned to the boys that Evan always watched the pot of water, fearing it would boil over if he wasn't there. Medication time was easier with the three of them there. Bad days were easier. Reacting to the fact Evan's video was shared so many times was easier.

And boy, was he having some feelings! 

"So, uh, there's a lot of things happening here." Evan said, scratching his arm. His cast came off the day after he posted the video, and he was relieved to be able to move it again. "For one, attention. That's weird. People are talking to me. It's fine, I guess, but it's a lot. I feel like I'm lying to the world. Is this all fake? Is--"

"Acorn, stop. Stop freaking out. You're fine."

"Thanks Jared, my anxiety is gone."

"No--Ev, darling, the only man I will ever love, no. You're not lying to the world. You told them something they needed to hear, and they loved it. Again, it's not as if you fabricated your whole relationship with Murphy over here. You're not using either of us, or anyone for that matter, to get anything. You're doing a good job."

"Yeah, and we'll beat up anyone who says otherwise." Connor said, ruffling Evan's hair. "Don't worry about it."

"Then there's college and applications. I haven't wrote any of my essays yet, and it's already December, and I--"

"They're not due until January or February, unless you were early decision which means you are very late." Jared kissed his head, then followed up with a soft punch to the arm. "This project will also look so great on college applications. Alana Beck came up to me today and kept telling me about how great it will be when colleges see what you did in such little time."

"Will they think I'm just using this to get in?"

"Oh man, imagine creating a whole world-wide sensation about mental illness and the visibility it deserves just to get into college." Connor said with a snort. "I don't think they'll think that."

Evan weakly swatted his boyfriends' hands away, frowning. Touching was a no at that moment. "Can we just watch a stupid documentary about a stupid thing."

"There's a flat earth documentary on Netflix."

"Perfect. Lets watch that."

They were about halfway through the film, Jared cracking jokes every ten minutes. Evan snorted at one before squeezing Jared's hand. "Sorry about before. I feel better."

"You don't have to apologize. We would be happy to help with college applications." Jared gave Connor a look. "Right?"

"I have no idea what I'm doing, but sure."

" _I'll_ be happy to help both of you with college applications." 

"Thank you, that means a lot." Evan planted a kiss on his cheek before turning back to the movie, smiling. It was fine.

* * *

Heidi came home earlier than usual one evening. She had a nervous smile on her face as she quickly hung up her phone and walked over to him. Connor and Jared were grabbing food they ordered, knowing Heidi would be home sooner than Evan suspected. She contacted them in advance before going. She immediately sat down next to Evan. "Evan, uh, so I have very important news. I met someone, and I'm not expecting you to meet him right away, but I wanted to let you know that we're... we're serious right now."

"You're dating someone?"

"I am. We've only gone on a couple dates because of how little time I have, and how I'd rather be home with you than out with him, but when I had off while you were at school, I've been seeing him. He has a child about your age, actually. Jeremy."

"Oh,"

"He also has two... uh... two dates! Jesus, Evan, you won't even believe what weird shit goes on in New Jersey."

"How did you meet it him?"

"Honestly? I met him awhile ago. I met him online, and he had some really weird stories. I gave him a chance, and we clicked."

"Can... can I meet him? Over video if that's how you do it or in person. I mean, you said he lives in New Jersey so not too far, but it's still a distance."

"I think he'd like that. We can call him tonight if you want. He is very excited. He's heard a bit about you, but I haven't spoiled anything."

"Okay, that sounds nice. Yeah, alright."

"Also, he's a year younger. Jeremy, I mean, so maybe you could give him some advice about college? How are your applications going?"

"Nooooo."

"Jared said he was helping out!"

"He is! That's the worst part! He knows it more than I do! I learned nothing except how to write an essay about me and the Connor Project!"

"So tell him about that! His, um, dates live with him. Also his friends are always around whenever I see him, so warning."

"I don't want to do this anymore."

"Hey," Heidi wrapped her arm around him, squeezing him gently. "I won't make you do this if you don't want to. It's up to you when you want to meet him and all the kids that hang out at his house."

"I, uh, can I have Jared and Connor here? They make me feel, like, ten times safer."

"Would it make you feel better if I told you everyone in that household is really gay? All of Jeremy's friends."

Evan considered that for a minute. As said, the homophobia lessened due to the fact he had his boyfriends plus Zoe and Alana (friends? He didn't know) protecting him, but it was still a rough couple of weeks where he had to deal with death threats, insecurity, and much more. "Actually, yes."

"Good, because it's true."

"Okay, cool. I feel slightly better. Alright. Yeah. Tonight?"

"Tonight."

* * *

"Heidi! Hello!"

"Hello Paul!"

Evan bit his thumb, watching as his mother and this man exchange pleasantries with one another. It was nice. Sweet, even, but Evan was just nervous. What if Mr Heere didn't like him? What if Jeremy didn't like him?

"Stop biting--goddammit Evan!" Connor whispered as he pulled Evan's hand out of his mouth, and Evan, who wasn't expecting it to be quick, accidentally bit Connor's hand. "You have really sharp teeth!"

Heidi ignored them, continuing. "Is Jeremy there?"

"He is! Jeremy! Heidi is on video! Can you come down?"

"Evan is also here with his boyfriends."

Evan could hear multiple voices from far off. Only one set of feet came down the stairs, but chatter continued. Evan scooted closer, now on screen to see them, gripping Connor's hand. He felt Jared pat his back, and he took a deep breath as Jeremy came on screen.

"Hi Heidi! Sorry, we were playing video games upstairs. A and Jake didn't believe I could beat level nine of--holy shit." Jeremy froze when he saw Evan. "HOLY SHIT!"

"Language!" Mr Heere scolded. 

"No, that's Evan Hansen dad! You know that video we were talking about? Oh god, dude you're a celebrity here! Christine loves it! I mean, we all do, but Christine showed it to us! I can't believe this! I, uh, I came out because of you. Not, like, sexuality, but gender. Your video gave me a lot of hope, and my friends were super chill about it, but you inspired me."

"Oh, uh, cool."

"Acorn sucks at speaking." Jared said, poking Evan's head. "Connor too."

"CONNOR IS THERE?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Um, cool. Uhhh, when can I meet you in person? I want to show my friends you and you my friends, and we can play video games. I promise this isn't because you're Evan Hansen. I would've done this if you were anyone, but now I feel like I should impress you more."

"You don't have to. I'm really not that great."

"Yeah, but you helped my buddy Rich through a really bad time. He's living here at the moment, and you helped him finally get the courage to come here and move in. You're kind of great to all of us."

"That is so much pressure. I can't even do college applications by myself."

"You and me both."

"I think summer would be nice to visit you guys!" Heidi said, squeezing Evan's shoulder. "Evan is doing a lot right now, but meeting you all would be a nice vacation! He'll just be working this summer, so he can take a day or two off. Oh! Maybe we'll come up before we drop him off at college! That would be fun!"

"That would be perfect. The kids were so excited when they heard you had a kid. They wanted to show him around and hang out." Mr Heere said, smiling the whole time. "Chloe and Brooke would not shut up about frozen yogurt."

"Ah hell yeah, froyo." Jared whispered, looking at Evan. "Babe, we gotta get some after this. I don't care if it's winter."

"Uh, wait. Here, Jeremy, let me give you my number." Evan watched as Jeremy grabbed his phone before giving him the number. 

"Okay you two, let us enjoy our date." Heidi waved Evan off, smiling. "Go have fun. Jeremy, it was nice to see you."

"Bye Heidi! Bye Evan!"

Evan just nodded before leaving with Connor and Jared to get frozen yogurt.

He was fine.

* * *

"Wow it is cold!"

"What do you expect, Kleinman? It's snowing."

"It is so cold!"

It was mid January. Evan was busy making a snowman as Jared and Connor watched with great interest. Jared wanted to help, but Evan was a bit of a control freak when it came to doing things. If he didn't have anxiety, Evan probably would have taken charge of everything he'd ever done. He was able to relax with Jared and Connor at this point, so he was a bit snippy at Jared when the first attempt fell apart. Connor had no interest in helping. He honestly just wanted to watch. They sent in their college applications the last couple of days, and today was just a fun day where school was canceled due to the snow. The Connor Project, at this point, had over a million views. Evan Hansen and Connor Murphy were known all over the world. Jared, Zoe, and Alana were also known by people who donated to the project and visited the page. Evan felt better. Somehow having more views and more nice comments made him feel less worried about the video he put out. He made more, sharing about the experiences he and Connor had since then.

"Hey, Acorn, hurry up!"

"Perfection doesn't just happen! I like the cold. It feels nice."

Connor just sighed and flopped on the ground. He looked at Jared, dropping to a whisper. "Look, you both are very important to me, and I appreciate you, but let's just have some quiet. I had to deal with my parents all morning."

"Oh shit, what happened?"

"Homophobic shit. Asking me if I'm the girl. Saying I can be fixed. Saying my medication is making me gay so I should stop taking the pills that make me feel human. Cynthia managed to replace them with sugar pills, and after a week I had an episode. Needless to say, Zoe got them back for me. Larry fucking told Zoe she was the only child he knew, as if she isn't fucking gay too. I'm just so tired of living with them. They are happy my grades are improving and that I'm showing up to class, but they still don't like me. Fuck, it would be one thing if they didn't love me, but they don't even like me. It's all about Zoe and her grades and her life and her band. She obviously feels pressure about this too, but I wish I could know what it's like to be accepted in a family."

"Heidi loves you. I know it's not the same, but--"

"No, you're right. I just lived with these people for so long with no help. They wanted the perfect, happy family. I guess I didn't fit the bill. Don't tell Evan. He's finally calmed down, and I can make it through another couple of months."

"I won't. I mean, we're not dating, but we're friends. You can always come to me with this. I don't like putting my problems on him either. Only tell him the good or make some shit up."

"Thanks Jared. Means a lot. I just had the episode. That's why I wasn't here yesterday or last night. I just saw red, and the next thing I know I'm taking my actual pill. I was going through withdraw and an episode, and I'm exhausted now. I don't think I slept much. I'll tell Evan eventually, but I want us both to be stable, and this happened last night."

Jared nodded, sitting next to him.

"How's your family?"

"Well, seeing as I'm good at lying, it's fine. They don't suspect a thing. All they know is that I have two friends. I'm going to college, and I'll get accepted into it. I'm just happy about you two."

"If we go to different colleges, think Evan and us will have to break up?"

"Nah, not unless he wants to. I've had eyes on him since I was four."

"Mood, but second grade for me. Kind of forgot about it until last summer."

"I'm glad Evan is dating you, Murphy."

"I'm glad Evan is dating you as well."

"Hey guys! Look at this shit!" Evan yelled to them, showing off his very nice snowman. 

"His name is Robert!" Jared yelled back, getting up to walk over. "Can we please go inside now? My pants are wet, and I'm too cold for this."

"Yes, fine, let's go inside. You have clothes?"

"Yep!"

"Connor?"

"Yeah, I got them."

"Good, then we can get changed and make cookies."

"Oh fuck yeah."

* * *

"The first thing you should know is that Evan tries to contact his father every year." Jared whispered to Connor, sitting in the living room. Evan went to his room with his phone. "It's the day his dad left. He's tried a couple times. Sometimes his step-mom will answer, once it was his step-sister, but he hasn't heard from his dad yet. His step-mom has been really nice, so when she's on the phone she'll talk to him for hours."

"Oh,"

"Yeah, but she knows his dad doesn't want to talk to him. He does too. I think he's just hoping that one day it will change."

"Jesus, that's fucked."

"Yeah, it really is."

"Should... should we make him something for after the call?"

"Yeah, probably. I usually make him nachos."

"Nachos sound good."

Connor and Jared tried to have some fun making nachos. Try is the keyword. Jared was used to this event, so he got Evan's favorite toppings out. He cracked a few jokes, but the room was somber. Jared was used to doing this alone, and Connor never knew how shitty Evan's father was. They both felt bad, and they knew they couldn't do anything about it.

An hour passed when Evan came downstairs. His eyes were slightly red, but he seemed alright. The minute he saw the nachos he smiled, thanking the two of them. As expected, his step-mom answered. She spent a bit talking to him, apologizing for her husband, and telling Evan about her day. She said she saw him in the news, and how proud she was. She also said her daughter really liked the videos, and she wanted to meet Evan someday. 

"She said maybe when Mark wasn't around." Evan relayed to them, shrugging. "Sucks, but she's nice at least. Uh, but hey, maybe Mr Heere will stick around. I like him, and mom doesn't go on dates a lot, so this should be fine. Maybe one day I'll have a father figure."

"I would offer, but that'd be really fucked up." Jared said, leaning to kiss his head. Evan made a small noise, prompting Jared to stop. "No touching right now?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. Somedays are no touching days. That's okay."

"Yeah, trust me." Connor said, going through the fridge for a drink. "We aren't mad."

"Can we watch something funny tonight? I just need a distraction." Evan pulled at his shirt, trying not to make eye contact. Everything was super uncomfortable. It always was after the call.

"Let's watch something funny." Jared agreed, giving Evan a plate before exiting the room to set something up. "Make your plates. I'll be back in a minute."

* * *

It was Valentine's Day. The trio decided not to do anything too extreme, but just enough. A nice picnic in a park. The air was frigid, so they brought extra jackets to wear, and they had a warm blanket to lay beneath them. Connor and Jared got Evan gifts, and he got them each their own gift plus chocolate. They packed fruit and sandwiches and thermoses full of hot cider.

It was nice. Quiet, because who would go out in this weather, but nice. They talked about whatever they could think about. Their days, their classwork, how much they loved each other. It was the first time Connor admitted that yes, he loved Evan. Evan quickly reciprocated. Jared established his love before, but it was needed. It was Valentine's, and this was their excuse to be as cute and mushy as they wanted. Kisses, hugs, declarations of love. All of it. Connor and Jared just wanted to see Evan happy after the shitty time he had the past week, and Evan wanted to see them happy too.

Halfway through the picnic, it began to rain. It wasn't cold enough for snow, but after a couple of droplets they decided to pack up and go back to Evan's house. When they were about two blocks away, the drizzling turned into a downpour, causing the trio to run the rest of the way. The minute they got inside, they laughed. What awful weather on such a perfect day. It was beautiful. It was just their luck, and just this once, they laughed at it.

They decided to just sit in Evan's room. Evan in the middle of a three person cuddle. They listened to soft music, doing their own things. Jared was sketching little doodles on paper. Evan was texting Jeremy, who he got surprisingly along with easily, about the whole event. Connor was in charge of the music, so anytime something too loud was in the queue, he quickly adjusted it. He was also updating his Instagram with pictures of the day, claiming he was super lucky.

"Jeremy says his dates are trying to one up each other."

Jared snorted, followed by Connor's chuckle.

"I'm glad you two aren't doing that. I'd get really nervous. He doesn't mind, though."

"Evan, Jared and I set up so many rules. Even now, if something changes, we meet up and discuss new rules and adjust them so we can agree. We would never do that."

"Also, we're not claiming to be super computers, so there's that." Jared added, adding shading to his doodle. A not so perfect box. Hey, he wasn't an artist.

"I really need to understand that full story. They're bullshitting us, right?" Connor whispered, switching the song.

"Apparently not, but it's weird. I don't understand, but he'll explain in the summer."

"I'm glad you two are getting along. I think the Heere family and all his friends will be good for us." Jared leaned back, smiling. "They sound balanced."

"They very much aren't, but they're all super happy right now. It's like they don't fear anything."

"Maybe it has something to do with the computer?"

Connor stifled another chuckle, putting his phone down. "I can't wait to hear this story."

"Oh, it's going to be hilarious. Can't wait." Jared said with a smirk.

"I can't either." Evan whispered, letting the music fill the silence that followed.

"Hey, Evan? I do love you." Connor said, kissing his hand. "I didn't think I would find someone I loved as much as you after all that happened. Thank you."

"Yeah, you never really gave up on us." Jared added, leaning on his shoulder. "I love you too."

"I, oh wow, I love you both so much. I'm just a bit emotional right now, but I love you both."

"We know, and we're thankful."

* * *

February was coming to a close. The Connor Project reached over ten million views. It was dying down, but people still shared the video. It was just part of their life now. They were all thankful the winter months would be over soon. Don't get them wrong, but they were excited to graduate and move on. They'd be finding out in the next month or two if they were accepted to their colleges, and it was both exciting and nerve-wracking. It was February 28th, around eleven at night, and they were curled up in bed, mostly asleep.

Evan was awake. He was just so nervous and happy that maybe this month he'd find out. He couldn't really leave the bed because, as always, he was curled between his two boyfriends, so he focused on their breathing. Jared's slightly loud and obnoxious snores that they all grew to love, and Connor's mumbling that made them giggle at whatever dream he had.

Evan closed his eyes and counted to ten.

Tomorrow would begin the months of spring.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? Does this mean I'm rewriting the SQUIP Squad one? I probably should, but will I? Probably not, but who knows! I sure don't! Motivation who?


	4. Spring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I 100% looked up "weird lasagna recipes" and found nothing I liked.  
> So I went for regular ass lasagna with butternut squash.

On March 3rd, at about four in the afternoon, Connor came over to Evan's with three duffle bags and no expression. He walked in, greeting Heidi as he passed her studying in the kitchen, and grabbed a glass of orange juice. He set the duffle bag down gently, not wishing to disturb Heidi, and sat next to her before promptly slamming his head on the table with a groan. He sat back up, drank a couple sips of juice, and went back down. 

"That the last of it? No more going back and forth?" Heidi asked, putting a hand on his head. She felt him nod. "What do you want for dinner tonight? Anything you want!"

"I don't know? Lasagna? I just can't cook, and it's your night off. I can ask Jared or--"

"Connor, I'll make it. I have to make it."

"Thank you. I'm sorry."

"Connor, you're fine. They're still paying for college, right?"

"Yep. College fund is still mine as long as I graduate they said. Thank you for taking me in."

"Well, you already live here, so it's fine!"

Connor just made another noise, keeping his head on the table. 

"Connie, honey, it's okay. Don't be sorry."

"Zoe's bringing my pills. My mom hid them somewhere, but Zoe said she could find them for me. I still have some here, so I'll be okay for now. I didn't know where else to go but here. Is Evan going to be home soon? Is he still out?"

"He'll be home late. Tonight it's just us. Jared is with him, so we can expect them home exactly at dinner. Two person lasagna making time. Anything you want in it. They're not here to stop us."

"I just want straight up sauce, mozzarella, the lasagna pasta, and some butternut squash. That's all I want after today. Maybe some breadsticks, but right now I'm going to drink my orange juice. Thank you again."

"Want me to go beat up your parents for you? I probably can't do much, but I can give them a very stern talking to."

"It's fine," Connor waved, sitting up again. "I was going to be kicked out sooner or later. I don't think they're really telling people they kicked me out. I don't expect them to, and I don't think I want to. It'd just be bad for me if people found out my parents don't want me."

"Listen, I know you and Evan are just dating, and there's no guarantee that you two will get married or whatever, but you do have at least one mom who wants you around. I will always want you around. No matter what. You can be forty and just need to come talk about how much work sucks, and I'll be here. If I'm free, of course."

"I'll call ahead of time."

"That would be ideal. Now, should we go grocery shopping for ingredients?"

"Just let me finish this drink."

* * *

Connor generally liked spending time with Heidi. The grocery store was relatively empty. A couple of people doing some last minute shopping before dinner. Connor stuck by her side, something he never did with his own parents, and carried the basket for her. She didn't need it, but he felt like he owed her. He also got to help pick out the squash and a small dessert. Heidi insisted it was a celebration for him completely moving in, and even though the voice of doubt told him otherwise, he chose to believe her.

"How about pie? That a good idea?" Heidi asked, looking at their selections. "We could also always get our own pie crust and make some weird pie dish."

"What if we, and hear me out, what if we just filled pie crust with cookie dough?"

"That sounds really gross and unhealthy."

"Fair point. Okay, how about just buying cookie dough and making a giant cookie?"

"Yeah, that sounds good. Go pick out some cookie dough; I'll get some more milk. We'll need it."

Connor gave a small laugh before turning around and heading to the aisle where pre-made cookie dough was held. He hummed a bit, deciding between chocolate chip and sugar. He stopped to wonder why those were the only two flavors he could ever find at stores before continuing his assessment of both flavors. In the end, sugar cookies and chocolate chip cookies won. It seemed like the best choice at the moment. He hurried to the dairy aisle, feeling almost happy that he had her instead of his parents.

They were never really parents to him the first place, were they?

"Heidi, I got both cookie mixes." He said, tossing them in the basket. 

"Good. Okay, I think that's almost everything we need from the store." Heidi checked the small list in her hand, sighing. She stuffed it back in her pocket before begging to move to the check out with him. "I'm sorry I can't do more for you. I'd love to take you to a fancy restaurant or something, but I don't have the money right now. Maybe next month I'll be able to. When we visit Paul in the summer, I'll ask to go out. Fun family dinner in New Jersey."

"You're doing a lot right now. It means the world."

"Aww, of course kiddo. Now, let's go check out. I want to get dinner ready before the other two get home. Have, uh, have you told them you got kicked out?"

"Not yet. I will tonight. I don't know what to say to Evan. I don't want to make him upset. Jared I'm fine with telling. He tells me shit about his family all the time, so I tell him about mine, but I'm scared of making Evan panic. I hate seeing him scared and hopeless. I hate when he holds his breath. I hate all of that."

Heidi nodded, pausing their conversation to pay for their groceries before continuing on the way to the car. "I think tonight you have to tell him. I think he'll be more concerned about you than he is about himself."

"That makes it worse."

"It's life. He's got to know eventually. He's going to ask why there are so many duffle bags full of your stuff at the house. Just tell him nice and gently."

"Nice and gently. Okay."

"You got this."

"I got this."

"The only thing we have to fear is making this lasagna correctly."

"Okay, but how do you fuck up lasagna?"

"Burning it. Undercooking also tastes bad. Not enough seasoning. Too much sauce, not enough cheese. Many ways."

"Okay, well I don't know anything about cooking, so I apologize in advance."

"It's okay. You can cut the squash for me. You have to cut them into cubes, okay?"

"Sounds easy enough."

* * *

"Heidi, I'm about to lose it. They aren't cubes."

"That's okay. They can be misshapen."

"I am so sorry, but this is fucking ridiculous."

"Calm down."

"I'm fucking calm! I just can't do this right! Fuck!"

"Connor, it's fine. Want to put sauce on the lasagna?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I do."

* * *

When Evan and Jared came back, they immediately noticed the duffle bags still left around the house. They noticed the lasagna on the table, still fresh and warm. They noticed Connor hunched over his phone, fuming as Heidi rubbed his back. It looked bad.

"Is, uh, is everything okay?" Evan asked, slinking into the room quietly. "Connor?"

"Zoe's on her way with my pills." Connor replied, clenching his teeth. He was really trying to stay calm. "They almost flushed them down the fucking toilet. She's bringing my birth certificate and social security card too. Fuck. Fuck this is actually real. I actually fucking got thrown to the curb."

"I'm sorry, what?" Jared finally spoke, a look of horror on his face. "They did what to you?! Holy shit! I'm going to fucking murder them!"

"Now, boys, I think what will be more productive than murder plots is eating this lasagna Connor and I made before we make a giant cookie. Zoe will be here soon, and then we can just set Connor up and unpack his stuff. He's going to be staying in your room as usual, Evan. You can share the closet space, right?"

"Yep!"

"Alright boys, let's have dinner."

* * *

It was a week or so after Connor officially moved in. All of them had senioritis, but Jared was pushing through it because his parents now changed their rule about taking away his car. If he got below a B, they'd take it away, so he forced himself to keep going. Because of this, he always made Evan and Connor do their work as if they were still applying to college. Connor already heard back from a local college that he decided was his top choice. He got in, and he was pretty damn proud to be a creative writing major there. It was very close to where they lived. A fifteen minute drive. Jared knew his top choice. It was about two hours away from Evan's house. That was fine, really, it was. Evan was between one in New Jersey and one near his house. Both had good programs, and he was split between them.

He was worried about their future.

"I really don't want to break up with you guys, but I also want to give you a chance to date someone you really like in college." Evan said, laying on his bed. "Like, I really don't know."

"Hey, I did not pine after you since I was a baby just to hear that you think I'll want to date someone else." Jared replied, throwing a pillow. "Unless you meet someone, we're staying together."

"Also we're polyamorous. We're not the most seen definition, since Jared and I aren't dating the same way we're dating you, but we're not really polygamous. I think that if we meet someone, we'd have a discussion like we did when you were into both me and Jared."

"Connor, we're practically dating."

"We're a queer platonic relationship, but we both have a romantic relationship with Evan."

"We're still fucking dating."

"Which is why we're not polygamous."

Evan took a breath, nodding. "Okay, yeah, just discussions. We all date, whether it's platonic or romantic, and we decide together."

Connor took his hand, squeezing. "New Jersey?"

"Yeah, I'm thinking about New Jersey. I know it's the same distance as Jared's college, but it's the opposite way, so it's four hours away from him."

"We can just meet in the middle. I also don't mind driving four hours to see you." Jared said, moving closer. "Unless you want to break up, which I'll be okay with, I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to break up."

"Then let's get to that point when we get there, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

* * *

At the end of March, Evan got his acceptance letter. He would've gone to New Jersey in the end, because he wasn't accepted to the one nearby. He felt better after his conversation two weeks prior, and he felt secure as well. It was really going to be okay.

They celebrated. Heidi was at work, but they celebrated with a walk in a local park. It was chilly, but it wasn't freezing. The sun way out, and the sky was a nice blue as they walked. Evan was holding one of each set of hands. He swung them slightly as they walked, smiling as he felt them go in a pattern of right forward, left back, left forward, right back. It was a good pattern, he decided, as he raised his head to look up at the sky. "You know, I'm actually happy we're going to different colleges. It means we can all take turns complaining after each day, and it will be about different things."

"We can all complain about our individual dining hall meals." Connor added, shrugging. This messed up the pattern, so they had to stop walking for a second to fix it. "Sorry about that."

"I'm hoping I'll have good food at my university, but I guess keep standards low?" Jared, then, also shrugged, making them stop again. "I really should've known better than to make the same mistake Connor made."

"You really should've, but we're just going to keep doing without messing up the pattern now."

"I'm very tempted to shrug again."

"No!"

"Me too."

"No! No, we're not messing up the pattern! I can and will keep stopping."

"Alright, alright. No more stopping."

"Thank you!"

Jared and Connor made eye contact before both shrugging. Evan looked between them before letting go of their hands.

"I want a divorce."

* * *

Jared got accepted to his college by April 7th, and this time they celebrated with a movie. They were eating popcorn in the living room, half watching the movie, half just cuddling and slowly falling asleep. School was pretty boring that day, and they already finished any work they had to do before Jared opened the letter. They relished in the comfortable atmosphere they had. It felt almost domestic, and that's when Jared realized that's what he wanted. He wanted a domestic life with these two. He wanted a home where he'd come after work, sit with them, and just let their time together go by peacefully.

He wanted it for the rest of his life.

Now, he would never disturb the peace of their moment with these claims. Partially because what if that's not what everyone else wanted, and also partially because he didn't want to mess up the vibe of the room. It was far too nice, and he was sure they'd discuss this sometime in the future. It had only been less than a year since they started dating. He was moving too fast in his head, but he also knew he was certain about this. He loved Evan. He loved Connor too, just not romantically. He really couldn't see life without the two of them in it, and just this once he knew that he could take his time and nothing would change. Nothing would change between the three of them. He didn't know why he thought that, but he just felt that way. He knew he was right.

His eyes felt a bit heavy as he realized his two companions were already asleep. A nap really wouldn't kill him, would it? He doubted it, and closed his eyes as the movie kept playing in the background.

* * *

Jared brought it up a week later, as he sat with them in the backyard. They were getting high, something they haven't really done in awhile, and he felt like it was a good time to bring it up before they started smoking. He wanted to be sober for this. "I think I want a domestic life with you two."

"That sounds nice. Just living together, doing work, being together." Connor agreed, setting everything up. "Yeah, I'd like that."

"I don't think more than two people can get married, but domestic sounds good." Evan mentioned, sighing. "I mean, hopefully one day we could all get married, but I'm okay being known as housemates until then."

"We could get an apartment or a house somewhere and just live life together. I really want that. I want to settle down, which makes me sound fucking crazy, I know. We're not even in college yet, but I really do want to settle down with you two the minute we're able to." Jared continued, picking at the grass under his leg. "We're sort of settled now, but I want it to be an official thing when we graduate college. I'd move anywhere you two wanted to go just to do that."

"I never thought I'd want to be settled, but yeah." Connor spoke again. "I really do."

"I've been thinking about this since the movie last week. I was so happy and content with you two. I don't care what happens in the future. I'll feel content knowing I have you two by my side. Even if we're separated by land, sea, or room. College will be a breeze with you both."

"It may be a bit tough, but yeah, we'll be fine."

"So," Evan started, smiling at them. "I guess we're agreeing to an unofficial marriage."

"Oh god, do I have to buy fucking promise rings?"

"It would add to the whole thing."

"Yeah, Connor, buy us rings!"

"Jared."

"Fine, fine, we'll all buy our own rings."

As the clouds passed over them, the three felt their world become brighter.

* * *

"I'm sure a lot of people are wondering why we're making a video. As many of you know, The Connor Project was created to make sure people knew they weren't alone. Well, it's getting closer to May, which means graduation for us here at The Connor Project. We're going to try to make more videos and discussion boards, but we can't promise anything at all. We wanted to make sure there was one last video where we thanked everyone who shared our message, and those who took it to heart. We are grateful and proud that so many people found help with our video. Remember, you are not alone. We may not be able to keep up with messages left to us in the future, but we are going to try our best, and that is going to have to be enough. Thank you all so much."

* * *

Really, they didn't know who leaked that Connor was kicked out of his home. They had suspicions, but they weren't actually sure. Zoe told them all that her family was getting a lot of backlash from people, but she was still in the clear. She felt bad, yes, but she also was uncomfortable at home now. She shrugged and told them maybe it was better this way, but she couldn't say for sure. Connor wished her luck, and she left them alone to go hang out with her friends. Alana, hearing about this, also came to say she was so sorry about Connor, and she was totally angry that his family would do something like that. She related it to something that happened recently in her life, and Connor had to remind himself that this was her way of reaching out to him even if it wasn't completely helpful. She went on for a bit before running off to go work on something else. It was really a miracle no one noticed the promise rings the three boys shared. They didn't really want to make a big deal out of it, and they were sure Alana would tell everyone.

It was early May. The air was warmer, teachers were preparing everyone for finals, and life seemed perfect. Jared set up a ruthless study regime with them, preparing for each subject they had. He didn't want his car taken away, and he knew once he graduated, he could be as gay as he wanted with his car by his side. No threats from his parents to have it taken away. They were all excited for graduation. They were excited for summer. It was altogether an exciting time for them.

It was a step into the future.

* * *

During the third week of May, they had finals. Two each day, so they could get their final grades before graduation. It was all very exciting. Some of their teachers put joke extra credit questions at the end, making the final more fun for the graduating class. Questions like 'what's your favorite color' and 'what's 2+2?' It was very nice to see those, and it made them end the final on a good note for the year. Once finals were over, the three went to get ice cream. Their last celebration before summer. Heidi already said the celebration for graduation was going to a Thai restaurant, but this was the last escapade they'd take without planning. Connor and Jared teased Evan a bit for the time he said pizza had flavors, which result in him glaring before letting out a small laugh he tried to hold back. They ate in a booth, talking about their plans. Obviously visiting Jeremy was the major plan, but they also talked about going backpacking for some of their vacation. Maybe driving around the state for a week or so, living in their car or going to cheap hotels. They wanted to watch bad horror movies and go to the beach to collect shells. Maybe learn new skills like knitting or something. That would be cool, they decided.

Connor wanted a tattoo. He wanted a semicolon on his arm. Something to remind him he made it. They looked up local tattoo places and the reviews they got. Evan and Jared agreed to go with him, but they really did not want to get tattoos.

"They hurt." Was the response Connor got when he asked why.

They decided to schedule an appointment sometime in June before they went to New Jersey, but it had to be after graduation. The place they were looking at was booked until June 10th, so they made a date then at the earliest time possible. It was going to be at eleven, and Connor had the money from when Zoe brought his stuff over. She made sure he had every cent he left in his room, counting to make sure his parents didn't steal anything from him. The tattoo would cost at most $100. It wasn't very detailed. It was just a simple black semicolon. Jared sketched it out for him, which, granted, was better than his sketches of actual objects. Jared took great offense to the suggestion his sketching was not completely perfect before snorting and punching Connor's arm lightly. By the time they finished their ice cream, it was four in the afternoon. They decided to start heading back to Evan's, taking their sweet time. They stopped to look at bugs on flowers and graffiti on buildings. Evan told them small facts about each plant they came across, proud of his knowledge of botany. That was, after all, his major, he decided. There was a small breeze, something they knew would be rare once summer came about. They could tell it was going to be a dry summer with maybe some instances of rain throughout. That was fine, though, because they could go to the local pool or stay inside somedays. Evan had a sprinkler somewhere in the shed outside that they could use. Everything, as always, was going to be fine as long as they had each other.

And their rings told them that they promised they would always have each other.

* * *

By June 6th, they graduated. Summer had once again begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck 2017 Max ending. Let's go 2020 Max where we don't have a 'and everyone was nice uwu'  
> Also I'm thinking of writing some Sanders Sides stuff next, if I have the motivation.


End file.
